Tiresome Humorist Pillows

Tire Store. Blowout Sale!

Middle-Age Superheroes

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

COWMIKAZES

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

Time management office worker

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

Time Travelers from the 21st Century.

"It turns out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

When scientists come out of retirement.

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

"Damn if I didn't start walking in this direction for a reason..."

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

Listen, you're fine. Lots of people your age start fuhgeddabouding things.

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

"He's at that funny age. It takes twice as long to get over a good time, as to have it."

"How do you know my wish didn't come true."

"I'm starting to look old."

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'