Tiredness Humor Pillows

"It turns out your problem is not chronic fatigue. You're just dog tired."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"This new system is too complex...pass it on."

'Insomniacs anonymous.'

Today isn't a good day. He's talking to New York now, then he's got a board meeting, after that there's an old Betty Grable film on TV.

'I question his commitment since his ulcer isn't bleeding.'

I don't understand why I need a referral from my primary-care doctor to see a specialist I've already seen, who told me himself to come back for a follow-up visit. That's just the way it works. You'll also need a referral from your tailor before we can put you in a hospital gown.

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

Music Quiz

"I didn't prioritize my day and now I'm stagnant."

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

'I can't afford those prices so would you call me when France goes broke and devalues its currency?'

Shoveling Snow

For temporary relief of symptoms due to cold or flu. May cause drowsiness. Use caution when operating machinery.

Train Arrivals

"We look for people who can quickly adapt to changes in the workplace."

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

'When you say I have 24 hours to get out of town, does that include the grace period?'

'I'm feeling much better, sir... in fact, I'm able to sit up and take nourishment.'

"The exposed brick wall is the perfect place to bang your head after a long day at the office."

'Bill got sacked, sleeps on a park bend and eats dog food. He's the most motivational speaker we've ever had.'

Humpty Dumpty using Egg timer as an Alarm clock.

"Late, as usual."

'Quick! Contact my doctor.'

Tire Store. Blowout Sale!

'We're both dog-tired.'

'Typical!'

A man's head disappears into his torso, replaced by a sign that reads: Next Showing 1:00

Maximum Insecurity Prison

"Who gets Meals on Wheels?"

"What took you so long?"