Stress Relief Humor Pillows

'I question his commitment since his ulcer isn't bleeding.'

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"When I said, 'I want you to sleep on it'. I menat when you go home tonight."

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

'The Neurosis Pack.'

"Most people would jump at an opportunity like this."

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

Bob's mother drove him crazy - but at least she came to visit.

'Visualize yourself not falling off the wall.'

Agoraphobic Explorer

"I'm sensing big crybaby."

"Tell me about your problem drinking."

"Don't worry. Very soon you'll be back to what passes as normal for you."

"I'm sorry, but you're not the patient your father was."

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY: CLEAN UNDERWEAR

'Albert Figgis gets board backing.'

Arm puncture...

'So tell me, Doc...am I cracked or not?'

For temporary relief of symptoms due to cold or flu. May cause drowsiness. Use caution when operating machinery.

"I think that's your reptile brain speaking, Cynthia!"

"We look for people who can quickly adapt to changes in the workplace."

"My boyfriend is insanely jealous. He does nothing all day but watch cartoons and plot revenge on any other men I talk to."

'Hate is a pretty strong word. Are you sure you're not just lactose intolerant of your mother?'

'I'm not asking you to lie - I'm just asking you to go insane.'

"One last request: move my car to the 11:30 A.M. to 1 P.M. Monday -Thursday side of the street for tomorrow."

"It turns out your problem is not chronic fatigue. You're just dog tired."

"I have very few things in life to worry about. . . and that is making me worried."

'I sense that you're experiencing a bit stress. They say that shopping is therapeutic. How about joining my Mom and I this weekend!'

Maximum Insecurity Prison