Tire Twister Pillows

"You know... this would be as good a time as any to rotate the tyres."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Astronaut runs on spinning asteroid to reach space shuttle's tether.

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

Curtsey

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

Hanukkah tree

'Obviously, I know a lot of weasel words, so I would be great in a business development role...'

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

'Aunty Em!...Toto!...It's a twister...It's a twister!'

'I still have time for both work and family - thanks to cloning.'

Jack and the Beanstalk.

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

"You may now kiss the... Oh, I see you have already done that!"

Two cats making a heart shape with their tails

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

"Well, I was under oath, so I couldn't lie outright, but I'm a weasel of course, so I have a way with words..."

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

"Nothing wrong with half-truths...you still have 50% to manipulate."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'He's calling Running Bear on his mobile.'

"And if anything goes wrong I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

Hybrid Cat Breeds

'Nice! And what other interests do you have besides jamming?'

Students singing 'Now we know our A-B-Os'

Burke and Hare and Hare

Serf faints as apple is shot from his head by an arrow.

"Here's one I wrote about not being able to come up with one of those 'Here's One I Wrote About' songs."