Tire Twister Gifts

"You know... this would be as good a time as any to rotate the tyres."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Astronaut runs on spinning asteroid to reach space shuttle's tether.

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

Curtsey

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

Hanukkah tree

'Obviously, I know a lot of weasel words, so I would be great in a business development role...'

'Aunty Em!...Toto!...It's a twister...It's a twister!'

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

Two cats making a heart shape with their tails

"You may now kiss the... Oh, I see you have already done that!"

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

Jack and the Beanstalk.

'I still have time for both work and family - thanks to cloning.'

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

"Well, I was under oath, so I couldn't lie outright, but I'm a weasel of course, so I have a way with words..."

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

"Nothing wrong with half-truths...you still have 50% to manipulate."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'He's calling Running Bear on his mobile.'

"And if anything goes wrong I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

'We were playing Twister at a party. . . there was a loud popping noise.'

Hybrid Cat Breeds

'Nice! And what other interests do you have besides jamming?'

Students singing 'Now we know our A-B-Os'

Burke and Hare and Hare

Really, Brother Gregory, that was only necessary on your head.