Tether Twister Gifts

Astronaut runs on spinning asteroid to reach space shuttle's tether.

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

Curtsey

Atomic Bear: Part 5

The Cricketer and the Golfer

Hanukkah tree

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

Two cats making a heart shape with their tails

"You may now kiss the... Oh, I see you have already done that!"

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

Jack and the Beanstalk.

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

"Well, I was under oath, so I couldn't lie outright, but I'm a weasel of course, so I have a way with words..."

"Architectural Digest calls it 'Twilight chic.'"

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

Polo pony

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"Nothing wrong with half-truths...you still have 50% to manipulate."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

Blackbirds.

'He's calling Running Bear on his mobile.'

"You know... this would be as good a time as any to rotate the tyres."

"And if anything goes wrong I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

Playing game on Cow.

Hybrid Cat Breeds

'We were playing Twister at a party. . . there was a loud popping noise.'

"I never lie to my parents, but sometimes we do interpret event differently."

Really, Brother Gregory, that was only necessary on your head.

Burke and Hare and Hare