Thread Twister Gifts

Spindles

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Astronaut runs on spinning asteroid to reach space shuttle's tether.

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

Curtsey

Hanukkah tree

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

"You may now kiss the... Oh, I see you have already done that!"

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

Jack and the Beanstalk.

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

Two lovers sitting on a bobbin

"Well, I was under oath, so I couldn't lie outright, but I'm a weasel of course, so I have a way with words..."

Polo pony

Quilting Bee.

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

"Nothing wrong with half-truths...you still have 50% to manipulate."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'He's calling Running Bear on his mobile.'

"You know... this would be as good a time as any to rotate the tyres."

'We were playing Twister at a party. . . there was a loud popping noise.'

"I never lie to my parents, but sometimes we do interpret event differently."

Burke and Hare and Hare

"It's a lot of work, but a quilt lasts forever."

Really, Brother Gregory, that was only necessary on your head.

Serf faints as apple is shot from his head by an arrow.

'Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, except if your wife asks if she looks fat?'

"Urgent message from Captain Sasson, sir - do you know any words that rhyme with orange?"