Truth Twister Gifts

'Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, except if your wife asks if she looks fat?'

"Nothing wrong with half-truths...you still have 50% to manipulate."

"Sometimes it works in my favor. I got off jury duty."

A difficult position.

'Your Honor... all the lies I told were true.'

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, let me present the alternative facts of the case."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"Careful - it's full of lies."

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

'Judging from your resume, you must have received an A in creative writing.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

Spin Doctor

"Well, I was under oath, so I couldn't lie outright, but I'm a weasel of course, so I have a way with words..."

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Curtsey

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

Hanukkah tree

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

'Obviously, I know a lot of weasel words, so I would be great in a business development role...'

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

'I still have time for both work and family - thanks to cloning.'

"You may now kiss the... Oh, I see you have already done that!"

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

Jack and the Beanstalk.

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

"No, wait. What if the cop character is the murderer, and the mobster guy is completely innocent?"

Polo pony

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

Elevator choices: Up, Down, Different Narrative.

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."