Tire Tinkerer Pillows

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Painting the Ceiling

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Sale! Weed Whackers

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Congratulations on your retirement!

New music conference

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

Organic Soldering.

Waiting for retirement.

FRY's FAMILY - Young Tom was always fiddling around with bits of machinery.

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

Music producers.

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

Three different categories of lawnmower.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives