Tire Admirer T-Shirts

"My answers to the Custom Cruiser Magazine reader survey! If it's among the first 50 returned, I win a set of cruiser tires!"

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

Driverless cars rage.

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

Man helping a mini learner driver

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

"This is my man cave."

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

"They're perfect astronauts. Fast velocity followed by a long, slow pace."

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

"This new car is so smart, it wrote its own AUTObiography."

'Not bad idea! But no quit day job.'

Great wheel. Lousy frisbee.

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'With all the cars driven by little old ladies only to church on Sunday, you'd think the church would be completely full of little old ladies.'

Richard Branson caricature.

Inventing the wheel, Inventing Valet parking

"It's weird...for some reason, all I could think about today was cars."

I pay 125 clams a year on road taxes.

"Aw, geez. I wanted a whitewall."

'Henderson has never learned how to relax.'

"This is a loveable little motor, loves petrol, loves oil..."

"You haven't napped until you've napped on the hood of a '57 Chevy."

Trainspotters.

'Try them on HERE before you buy online.'

This tire comes with a one million mile warranty.

'We're ready, Tony, start your engine!'

"That rotten smell? That's my spoiler."

'Men on motorbike with pencil shaped sidecar.'

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

Scout car

'There's your leak.'

'I know I'll pay for it in the end, but, seriously, how could I resist a rack like that?'