Tipple Tactician Gifts

My first mistake.

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"That was a rumor day."

Football.

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

Human males marking territory.

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

Snooker.

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

I've left your pin on the map, but I've loosened it.

Stone Age

"Isn't it about time you tidied up around here...?"

"This one goes out to the lovers who aren’t intimidated by my tip jar."

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

Adult Education Evening Class: How to sort your rubbish.

'Quick! Play dead!'

"Buy on the dip, ignore the blip, and sell before the bubble bursts."

'I don't know about you, Sam, but so far my clients aren't going for this cross between tradtional and online trading.'

"Here's Bill now. I'm not sure where he's been, but I'm guessing it was the Sour Beer Festival."