Tipper Extraordinaire Gifts

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

Tips: iceberg, pyramid, service.

'It's that waitress I always leave big tips to.'

'A packet o' crisps, and have one for yersel'.'

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Belief and Trust.

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

Cereal Tasting.

Counsel for the prosecution makes its closing argument in mime court.

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

"Yes we have dollar drafts, no you can't use your own glass."

Secretary

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

'You're right, I did overtip. Well, we'll just stiff someone at the next place.'

"Our team needs a lot of nurturing."

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

The Little Top.

Welcome to our team.

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

Working Together

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

'I'm picking up unsubtle hints of coffee.'

"Look! A rare flightless bird!"

"All our ingredients are ethically sourced, so feel free to leave the sh*ttiest tip you can possibly imagine."

Tip responsibly

'An environmentalist group today petitioned Congress to ban 'Tiptoe Through the Tulips.''

Tip Responsibly

"April Fool's on her!"

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

'It's part of working as a team, Michael, we all have to make a sacrifice now and again.'

'I never get tipped!'

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'