Quirky Tipper Gifts

'I don't have any cash on me so will you accept some fresh produce from my garden instead.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

'Is the water cold?'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

'We want to go where the Geraea canescens grow wild and we can tiptoe through the phacelia crenulata!'

"Sayyy - you've had some work done!"

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

'A packet o' crisps, and have one for yersel'.'

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

"Okay, we got one cherry lager, with bitters and a pineapple slice, and one honey malt ale with cinnamon and an orange weist. You want these in steins or parfait glasses?"

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

In his own way, Todd does his part to save the whales.

Tip responsibly

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

"But we had stir-fry last night and the night before."

"Use less powder. You're planting them too deep."

Make Your Own

"What town are we in??"

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

'Fancy a spot of work after drinks?'

'Just give him the tip, Harold.'

5-6 pm: Unhappy hour - mourn the loss of jobs to apps, bots, drones.

"I prefer the cheap stuff."

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

'It's that waitress I always leave big tips to.'

"It's my Dad's Birthday. Could you gift wrap it?"