Tipper Extraordinaire T-Shirts

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

Tips: iceberg, pyramid, service.

'It's that waitress I always leave big tips to.'

'A packet o' crisps, and have one for yersel'.'

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Belief and Trust.

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

Cereal Tasting.

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

Counsel for the prosecution makes its closing argument in mime court.

Secretary

'You're right, I did overtip. Well, we'll just stiff someone at the next place.'

"Our team needs a lot of nurturing."

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

Welcome to our team.

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

Working Together

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

'I'm picking up unsubtle hints of coffee.'

Tip Responsibly

Tip responsibly

'An environmentalist group today petitioned Congress to ban 'Tiptoe Through the Tulips.''

"All our ingredients are ethically sourced, so feel free to leave the sh*ttiest tip you can possibly imagine."

"April Fool's on her!"

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

'It's part of working as a team, Michael, we all have to make a sacrifice now and again.'

'I never get tipped!'

5-6 pm: Unhappy hour - mourn the loss of jobs to apps, bots, drones.

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

"15%? We all tipped 20%"

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

"I prefer the cheap stuff."