Tiny Trinket Collector Pillows

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Ball as water-melon.

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

Kissing the Fish

Balloon dog poos.

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

State of the Art Dog.

"Well thank you, and may I say you look quite handsome too..."

'Okay,stay close, and stay alert! Looks like we're heading into BIG CAT COUNTRY!'

'No, don't tell me...split personality.'

Small child checks out a book.

Cat has swallowed computer mouse.

Chameleon and TV

"Ah yes… this is Mr Shipley, our new head of strategically placed objects."

"Whoever said 'There's nothing new under the sun' first, was a hypocrite."

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

"Anatomy of a cat"

"Maybe that metal device we found with the paleolithic stone tools WAS a ray gun!"

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

Odorant

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

Signed Baseball - Scientists,

A Scottish Terrier playing bagpipes wins the dog show.

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

Months after she broke with the celery, Alice was still being stalked.

"My girlfriend got it for me. What? It's not so bad is it? Is it?..."

I lost as a contestant on the quiz show, but they gave me this lovely parting gift...

"I Can't Dance... The Doctor Accidentally Gave Me Two Left Feet!"