Tiny Trinket Collector T-Shirts

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Cheeze Wiz.

Ball as water-melon.

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

Kissing the Fish

Balloon dog poos.

'Head down...eye on the ball...'

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

State of the Art Dog.

Cat has swallowed computer mouse.

'Okay,stay close, and stay alert! Looks like we're heading into BIG CAT COUNTRY!'

"Well thank you, and may I say you look quite handsome too..."

'No, don't tell me...split personality.'

Small child checks out a book.

"Ah yes… this is Mr Shipley, our new head of strategically placed objects."

Chameleon and TV

"Maybe that metal device we found with the paleolithic stone tools WAS a ray gun!"

"Anatomy of a cat"

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

Odorant

"Whoever said 'There's nothing new under the sun' first, was a hypocrite."

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

Signed Baseball - Scientists,

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

A Scottish Terrier playing bagpipes wins the dog show.

"My girlfriend got it for me. What? It's not so bad is it? Is it?..."

I lost as a contestant on the quiz show, but they gave me this lovely parting gift...

Cat runs away for giant mice.

Female showering under a watered hanging basket using Body Shop products.