Tiny Historian Pillows

'I draw on the walls and get time out. They do it and get famous!'

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

Archimedes statue with a lever

Playdough's The Republic

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

"What would you recommend to hold a seven-year-old girl's attention in a car from East Seventy-eighth Street to Bridgehampton?"

Frank and Ernie's Lesser Known History. Lemonade. Custer's first stand.

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

"I'm getting it registered as an historical landmark."

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'

A caveman attempting to make a cart

The Book Club

"R.V. Lintel- Inventor of Polyroc

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

"They think I don't have a clue."

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

On a school trip to a museum, a child takes the head of a horse statue and runs through the museum with it.

"She's always writing in that journal of hers. Maybe she'll be a notary public when she grows up."

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

Mummy has set up a pulley system in his sarcophagus.

"You've really outdid yourself this time. A real masterpiece!"

"This is your great-great-great grandfather Luis. He met your great-great-great-grandmother at the store where she worked. He was there to buy a lawn mower! She sold him a sheep. They hadn't invented law mowers."

Unexpected Help for the Colonists at the Boston Tea Party

Style

"Miss Peterson, may I go home? I can't assimilate any more data today."