Tin Can Gourmet Gifts

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Keith Floyd.

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

Stuffing the turkey.

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"My compliments to the can opener."

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

Stand back - while I whip something up

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

"What's not disgusting?"

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

Geographical Society Christmas Dinner.