Timing Aficionado T-Shirts

"The key is to hit the deck before the ball arrives. Jake, not so fast!"

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

A watch face with Stonehenge

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

'Now that the price of gold is up, we'd like to have your retirement watch back, Boggs.'

Hourglass Dumptruck

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

'Either I've got bad news for you or my watch has stopped...'

'I think I know what makes you tick!'

"You're late."

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

When pedants take a break.

Spiv

'Maybe you had the radar screen upside down and it was a plane...'

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'

"When my grandad retired you got a gold watch, I was told I could pop back and ask the time when they weren't too busy for me."

"Well, I would consider offering you more for it if it were right, say, three times a day."

Charles Dickens Watch Shop. Here they only sell the hightest-quality watches and very shoddy watches. The best of times, the worst of times.

Waiting for home time

"I told him he was punching out too hard. This time the time clock punched back."

"Why do I have to learn to tell time? Can't I just listen for the bell?"

"But the good news is I've found my watch!"

Valentine's Day

'Ma'am, I think I already see the problem with your cuckoo clock.'

'I've had enough of these everlasting arguments - I say you're late!'

'They no longer award retirees with a gold watch, so I got the time-clock!'

'I'm bringing it into the pit! The DVD player conked out in the middle of 'Little Miss Sunshine'.'

'We are a committee of clocks, you idiot. What do you mean you forgot to record the minutes?'

'Which piece are you going to play?' - 'The Minute Waltz' - '1 minute 9 seconds. Fail.' - 'Damn you, Chopin!'

Caution Watch Dog

'I offer a full warranty. If it ever stops, just call me. I'll tell you what time it is.'