Comedic Timing Aficionado T-Shirts

'I'm hoping one day I'll be discovered by the director of Riverdance.'

Desk trays: 'Ka...' and '...Boom.'

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

Kissing Prompt

"I see travel and romance. You'll be going away soon. I see a tall, dark stranger with many tattoos."

When pedants take a break.

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'

Valentine's Day

"His last words were: Tell Martha to pay the doctors first."

'Ma'am, I think I already see the problem with your cuckoo clock.'

'They no longer award retirees with a gold watch, so I got the time-clock!'

'We are a committee of clocks, you idiot. What do you mean you forgot to record the minutes?'

'Which piece are you going to play?' - 'The Minute Waltz' - '1 minute 9 seconds. Fail.' - 'Damn you, Chopin!'

"Now, let's try a Waltz. Don't worry about me though, I'm wearing safety boots..."

'I'm sorry, we are looking for a different kind of party animal.'

"Oh, now you want to talk, when all week it was 'Do Not Disturb.'"

A bird tries to fly through a window to a bird house which is in a living room.

Horse bolts from Horse-box it sees in a carpark.

Big egg timer 'Latest in time share properties.'

"The key is to hit the deck before the ball arrives. Jake, not so fast!"

"He wasn't ready for the talk."

"Speeding? Impossible. I'm on my way to my tax audit!"

God's turnaround time.

'You're doing great. I'll take over at half past. . .'

"Now, don't get too excited – it could just be a hand puppet."

The appendectomy quarterfinals.

'You're early.'

"We asked you to arrive fifteen minutes early, not seventeen minutes early."

"Yes, I'm late, but I don't have a watch and it's overcast: how am I supposed to tell the time?"

Tracking app: '3 minutes ago, we couldn't deliver your toilet paper parcel because you didn't answer the door.'

'I feel so bad -- my biological clock went off early and I threw it at the cat!'