
Psychic predicts time back from lunch (black and white)
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Psychic predicts time back from lunch (black and white)
'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?
"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."
'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'
Time management office worker
'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'
"Eeeeek!!! My okay to this one night stand must have been faked by Cambridge Analytica!!"
Kissing Prompt
Blame the Victims
"I see travel and romance. You'll be going away soon. I see a tall, dark stranger with many tattoos."
Craft gallery. Fudge Shoppe. Bike rentals. Clear-cut woods for luxury condos. The sure signs that we've arrived! Right. At our wilderness getaway! Almost a lake view. For sale.
"Fenwick, do you see any mistletoe on my coattail?"
Addicted to Oil
'I've done the washing up - Do we have any glue?'
"And make sure you give me a paper straw... gotta do my bit for the planet."
The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Goes To College
"His last words were: Tell Martha to pay the doctors first."
"It's gutsy and bold, and frankly, I like it. But polls indicate the market isn't quite ready for human sacrifices."
Hospital bed shortages
'Which piece are you going to play?' - 'The Minute Waltz' - '1 minute 9 seconds. Fail.' - 'Damn you, Chopin!'
'I'm sorry, we are looking for a different kind of party animal.'
"You're looking sharp today, Appleby."
"I think you're taking the Prime Ministers blatant lies out of context."
"Everybody's noticed a change in you, Boss... the flowers, your thoughtful acts of kindness, words of encouragement, and all those hush-hush personal phone calls... YOU RASCAL! You're under investigation again, aren't you?"
A bird tries to fly through a window to a bird house which is in a living room.
"Oh, now you want to talk, when all week it was 'Do Not Disturb.'"
"The key is to hit the deck before the ball arrives. Jake, not so fast!"
"He wasn't ready for the talk."
'I'm hoping one day I'll be discovered by the director of Riverdance.'
Once upon a time in America...
"Do you have anything a little firmer?"
God's turnaround time.
'Why do I go out with a short, fat, bald guy like you? Well for one thing, you make me look good.'
"By the way...there's a 'kiss my ass' casserole on the counter!"
Chet's Upward Mobility Clinic
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