Timeshare Skeptics Gifts

Hey, I told you not to buy that timeshare.

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Mother Goose Timeshare

"I have an idea. How about I don't have to eat broccoli until I learn how to spell it."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

Workaholic on a cruise

"Can I start you all off with my cheesy alimony saga?"

"Remember, our do-nothing congress never raised your taxes!"

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

"Our dental plan is fluoridation of the water cooler."

"You've got six days."

'How did I become Vice-President? You ask...I came up with the logest list of fees to charge bank customers.'

'I don't really believe in global warming... until I found a way to make money at it.'

Big egg timer 'Latest in time share properties.'

Annoying things about the beach.

Essential / Non Essential Signpost - 'It's way more competitive since they turned things over to the private sector.'

Vern takes the cashier's greeting of 'how are you today?' far too literally.

Is this all you earned? We're fighting a war to protect your right to earn more.

"It's the bill for our pay rise."

"If I could time travel, I'd go back to the hour we lost when the clocks changed to British Summer Time."

Couple in bed. Man enjoys post-coital cigarette while woman is on laptop. He says: 'Are you blogging this?'

"My pronouns are I, me, and mine."

You can't buy happiness ... but time shares are a possible option!

"Apparently, nobody up there gives a crap that daylight-saving time is over."

'Just give me the ten bucks and look at it as another surcharge.'

"I draw the line at flip-flops shares."

Save up to 100% when you don't buy anything.

'Well, I can think of one good reason to be happy that summer is almost over!'

'Must you end every bedtiime story with 'and then they were blown up by terrorists'?!'