Time-share Explorer Gifts

You can't buy happiness ... but time shares are a possible option!

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"We're following Carrot Top."

Lazy Octopus

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

Atomic Bear: Part 21

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

'This is just an informal pledge that we all go through.'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

"I don't get it either, but my mom keeps telling me to hang up the phone, so I do it to make her happy."

Where the Wild Things Summer

Deadlines, Inc.

Quick, what's the five-second rule in dog years?

You're only young once but apparently there's no limit on childish. (Published originally on January 15, 2008.)

Father Time Management

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

'The big bang theory of creation.'

Albert Einstein

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

"Would you want to drink from a fountain of youth?" "I'd settle for a fountain of middle age."

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

''What say we knock off early tonight and go to a microbrewery?'

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

"It's from your 'optimise your time' trainer...he's double booked and won't be coming"

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

'Life's too short to hold grudges.' 'No it's not! You just need to organize your time better.'

'Sir, may I have a minute of your time?'

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

'Now that the clocks have changed you can use that extra hour that you can't spend in the garden decorating the kitchen'

''Infinite' will take forever - How about we use curved space?'