Time-share Explorer Gifts

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"We're following Carrot Top."

Lazy Octopus

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'This is just an informal pledge that we all go through.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

Deadlines, Inc.

Where the Wild Things Summer

'The big bang theory of creation.'

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

Father Time Management

Albert Einstein

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

''What say we knock off early tonight and go to a microbrewery?'

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

"Would you want to drink from a fountain of youth?" "I'd settle for a fountain of middle age."

"It's from your 'optimise your time' trainer...he's double booked and won't be coming"

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

'Life's too short to hold grudges.' 'No it's not! You just need to organize your time better.'

'Sir, may I have a minute of your time?'

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

'Now that the clocks have changed you can use that extra hour that you can't spend in the garden decorating the kitchen'

"Here's the problem, I grabbed the wrong map. This isn't the Fountain of Youth. This is the Fountain of Middle Age."