Time Zone Jester Pillows

"When it's eternity here, it's still early morning on the West Coast."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

"I hate open-mike night."

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"Turns out the mouth of a river isn't the part right under its nose."

"I slept funny!"

"New York are at Lunch, Munich are at Coffee and Tokyo are at Lunch."

"Oops! Sorry! Clocks forward, clocks back, immigration,migration. . . I never know whether I'm coming or going!"

"Sometimes I think the captain doesn't appreciate the seriousness of military maneuvers."

'Tell the boss I'm leaving an hour early this afternoon, to make up for being an hour late this morning.'

"The weatherman is always wrong. It'll probably end up being meteor showers."

Cow Printer

This Junk Mail made from 75% Recycled Other Junk Mail.

Four Seasons Total Landscaping

I'd like to check my e-mail...

'Liberia? I thought you told me to register her in Siberia.'

"One in four fleas is a leap flea."

The runner ducks ate all the snails from the garden and Jack was happy but then...

"The reason why U.S. time is behind English time is because England was discovered first..."

"So, tell me all about some tourists who were here last year. . ."

Common tactical errors made by novice computer chess players: putting the pieces directly in the disk drive.

Computer cables as fire ladder.

'Well, they certainly caught you kipping!'

Toddler in the bed: a journey

"Walter's solution is to pump a lot of fresh air into the atmosphere."

"I'm confused. Is this a late lunch or is it early dinner?"

The Was-I-Ever-Helped-By-A-Radio-Traffic -Report Show.

Learn Russian in 2 Weeks!

"This party has no atmosphere."

Brainwashed

West and East

Road Closed