Time-traveling Foodie Gifts

"The origin of the first joke... Waiter, there's a fly in my primordial soup."

Come dine with me!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

6 Brothers Falafel

"You owe me five bucks."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

Grandma's caf

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"You're about to learn what New York hot dogs are made from."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

Tzatzikicicle

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"They know me here."

Pizza Tower Bridge

"Perhaps Monsieur would care for something more expensive?"

"We succumbed to your hype."

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

'... But, why do you want me to sign a "waiver of liability form"?'

Culture clash

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

Alphabet soup

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

'That's a very popular choice sir, and that's why we've sold out of it.'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'