Traveling Foodie Gifts

'Bloody Brits.'

'Manna! Matzoh! If I knew the food would be so bad on this trip, I would have stayed in Egypt.'

'Purpose of visit?'

Come dine with me!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

6 Brothers Falafel

"You owe me five bucks."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

'Is this still America?'

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Pizza Tower Bridge

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"They know me here."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"You're about to learn what New York hot dogs are made from."

Tzatzikicicle

"Perhaps Monsieur would care for something more expensive?"

"We succumbed to your hype."