Traveling Foodie Pillows

'Bloody Brits.'

'Manna! Matzoh! If I knew the food would be so bad on this trip, I would have stayed in Egypt.'

'Purpose of visit?'

Come dine with me!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

6 Brothers Falafel

"You owe me five bucks."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

'Is this still America?'

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"You're about to learn what New York hot dogs are made from."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

Tzatzikicicle

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Pizza Tower Bridge

"They know me here."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"Perhaps Monsieur would care for something more expensive?"

"We succumbed to your hype."

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'