Road Trip Foodie Gifts

Bagels, burgers, pizza, donuts, everything I eat is round like a wheel, maybe because I'm always driving!

Come dine with me!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

6 Brothers Falafel

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"You owe me five bucks."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

How am I abducting?

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Kardiff.

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

'Is this still America?'

Yes, That Was The Exit

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Be open to help.