Time Traveler Dreams Gifts

'If I can't put her out of her misery, at least I can put myself out of mine.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"The weatherman said dress for the mid 70's. Bob was elated." "Much. Too. Sexy."

"We're following Carrot Top."

Second hand furniture.

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Early model of baggage claim"

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

Time for vacation, time for work.

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Sundial Time

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Danger Slow Sand.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."