Time Off Tactician Gifts

'I'm working through the Summer as usual: I take my annual leave in Winter you see...'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

Golf lessons

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

Carlo Ancelotti

"We're looking for someone who'll be available twenty four-seven."

Institutions Controlling Money

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

Ready to move when the other guy blinks.

Good poetry & Winning teams

'Curses! My eyes were closed.'

"He only made first four installments."

I would like to start a regualr investment program that will help pay my daughter's college textbooks

"I told them I was sick of working all hours...and that I intended to stick to my hours and get home to give my son a bath and bedtime book....unfortunately he'd turned into a 26 year old commodities broker while I was in meetings!"

"I'm not attracted to him and we don't get along, but the timing is right."

'The break is over, guys. It's time we got back to our 'Poker Addiction Support Group.''

"Higher learning gets higher each year."

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

Golf

Arsene Wenger

"Whoever guesses which cup the college tuition is under, gets it."

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

The Waiting Game

"No you can' 'google' number seven!"

'It's not what you buy. It's when you buy.'

I've got to make an offering to the cheapskate muse. What's that got to do with me? You understand women. What could I do to bring back my goddess of inspiration? That's nice. What's nice? Goddess of inspiration. You mind if I use that line on this hottie I met when I was trolling for broads at the bus station? This is not helping! No, it is. Don't sell yourself short. HOJ.

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

Coo coo clocks make a cats job easier.

'I was there the day we were married. Talk about bad timing.'