Time-off Planner T-Shirts

"He's highly qualified to be our new associate pastor but he wants all weekends and holidays off - the same days I want off."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

"If you have any gossip, tell me now - she could come back ay second."

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

"It looks brighter over there!"

"We need to find another fall activity to do with the kids."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"Every summer I regret having used up all my vacation days in January."

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

"Make a note, Ellen—one Speedo, size 54."

"Check our website sir. It clearly says bed in breakfast."

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

The bulb family leaves for vacation

"Are there sharks in the water?"

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

Babies

"Heads-up, the tourists are coming."

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"