Time Management Satirical Gifts

"A funeral service? Net week? Sorry, I'm way too busy and my diary is full. If only you'd asked me four months ago!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

Storm in the out tray

Work/Life Balance

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

Time Is Money

"How do you do it, hon? Marriage, kids, civic responsibilities, managing a multi-million dollar business and still finding time to do an 18-month stretch for securities fraud?"

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

Clients who show up early for an appointment are really annoying ??" especially when you work from home.

Danger Slow Sand.

Stressed over time management

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

‘I've cleared the morning, but you've got bandits at twelve o'clock ...'

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"