Tie Fanatic T-Shirts

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

"1-1"

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

"Gift"

"On this team we take off our jackets,but we don't loosen our ties."

The Perfect Foil

Tie Rolls

A Meeting of Great Ties.

'You don't want the job, do you?'

Fred's Tie: A Momentary Lapse of Judgement or A Cry For Help?

'Johnny, personal feelings like loud neckties and long jokes; best left at home.'

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

' This is our 'casual dress day'. For the rest of the week they make us wear tuxedos ! '

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

'My power ties are demanding more closet space.'

Friendly Tie

'How about this for the masked ball?'

Future History Museums

"Then it's agreed, my tie is prettier than Henderson's."

Tie-Land.

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

"Let's see a robot do that."

'Hornsby, you're fired. Incidentally, I like your tie.'

"I forgot how to tie mine, too."

'Son, you need to describe the boy who took your yo-yo to our Etch-A-Sketch artist.'

The first birthday gift.

"No. 3 step forward and whine, 'Please, Mom, I'm forty-four years old—I can tie my own tie.'"

"Hold on a minute, will you? I just want to see what color Charlie Rose's tie is tonight."

'I know we're not supposed to wear them, but I got it for Father's Day.'

Robin Day.

'I just faxed my tie to our Des Moines office.'

'Man in suit wears tie in shape of a pencil.'