Tidy Yard Keeper Gifts

Man waiting for final leaf of autumn to fall.

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

The Last Leaf

Sweep the board.

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

Monsters won't eat you if they're not hungry. So, each night, Mom makes it a sandwich. If I keep my room tidy.

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

'Not here, Fred.'

A Mom's Purse

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

Lawn Mowers - Loud/Louder/Loudest

"Next time, don't rake with the dogs."

'No spring cleaning for me: I get a cleaner to come over in winter while we're asleep...'

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

"Which area of the house is the most dangerous? A. Your wet bathroom, B. Your dirty kitchen, or C. Your cluttered garage?"

The lawn mowing industry was ripe for innovation.

'My dad thinks I have a future in junk bonds.'

'When people find out I'm a lawyer they take an instant dislike to me. My wife says it's just to save them time...'

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."

'Mind if I trim the hedge back? It's over mine a bit!'

"I've had enough of your garbage."

'Get your mitts off my leaves!!'