Tidal Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"Exactly how far does the tide go out as Southend."

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Boat wedding.

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

Captain steering house through flood.

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

Fishing boat.

"Entweder Fisch oder Fleisch"

Lighthouse Beam.

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

Wine taster with mineral water

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

A large yacht carries a small wood house.

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

'Honey, did you bring the anti-nausea pills?'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

'Gee, Grandpa, you sure have a way with animals.'

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

'Miss Wislson please bring me my spear gun.'

Distractions.

Set sail

Rats deserting a sinking ship

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

"Call me Ishmael."

On the plus side, I'd wager a lot of you folks back there had never seen an iceburg up close before.

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'