Thumb Wrestling Champ Gifts

You are not allowed to join the army, little buddy. You don't want me getting hurt in war? I just don't think someone who's never won an arm-wrestling match in his life has any business taking on terrorists. For your information, you're looking at the World Lightweight Champion of Thumb Wrestling, fourteen years running. Not at all the same thing. And my mom said playing video games would never take me anywhere.

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

"Oi - I was pollinating that!!"

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

'Don't you think it's time you tackled the wandering dew?'

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

Firefigher arm-wrestling with a dragon.

'He's made an eco-friendly bamboo bike... unfortunately all the tomato plants have fallen down.'

'See I told you the garden was big enough for a table and chairs.'

"What are you growing?"

This plant is a lousy malingerer!

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."

Texting. Hardware. Software. Plans. Most of our business comes from word-of-thumb.

"What about your precious opposable thumbs now?"

'Those showy blooms are very susceptible to pests.'

The Fireside Jungle: Beware of introducing pest into the house with new specimens.

Gardener's Calendar: Look out for damage by hail.

Andy Johnson, Hardcore Composter

'Your texting addiction sticks out like a sore thumb.'

"911?... Guinness Book of World Records?... 911?

"It's weeder's elbow."

"Miss Daniels! Get in here! The sansevieria trifasciata is budding!!"

Lawn and Order

2012 warmest year on record so far.

'Type the following as fast as you can!'

"I now declare a thumb war."

"Emma's been planting all the stones from our avocados."

Roots coming through the roof of a balcony.

'Well, that's the gardening done - until the perishing things spring up again!'

Weod Monath (Weed Month) The Saxon word for the month of August.