Thumb Wrestling Champion Gifts

'Woke up in a strange town. No money. No friends. Had to hitchhike to get home. Luckily, I still had part of one thumb left.'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

"Oi - I was pollinating that!!"

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

'Don't you think it's time you tackled the wandering dew?'

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

'He's made an eco-friendly bamboo bike... unfortunately all the tomato plants have fallen down.'

Firefigher arm-wrestling with a dragon.

'See I told you the garden was big enough for a table and chairs.'

"What are you growing?"

Texting. Hardware. Software. Plans. Most of our business comes from word-of-thumb.

This plant is a lousy malingerer!

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."

"What about your precious opposable thumbs now?"

'Those showy blooms are very susceptible to pests.'

Andy Johnson, Hardcore Composter

The Fireside Jungle: Beware of introducing pest into the house with new specimens.

Gardener's Calendar: Look out for damage by hail.

'Your texting addiction sticks out like a sore thumb.'

"It's weeder's elbow."

"911?... Guinness Book of World Records?... 911?

"Miss Daniels! Get in here! The sansevieria trifasciata is budding!!"

'But Mom, if God didn't want us to text message, he wouldn't have given us opposable thumbs.'

'Type the following as fast as you can!'

Lawn and Order

2012 warmest year on record so far.

"I now declare a thumb war."

Roots coming through the roof of a balcony.

"Emma's been planting all the stones from our avocados."

'Well, that's the gardening done - until the perishing things spring up again!'