Thumb Twiddler's Nightmare Pillows

'What's wrong? You can play any game you want! Mwaahahaha!'

The 3 Musketeers come undone.

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

Early Tech Support

'Why do I have to do this? -- Violins never solve anything!'

Book on Thumb Twiddling

"And that's when they left for vacation!"

"There he goes flaunting his opposable thumb again."

A dead plant in the environment section.

Twitter Prison

Precussionist

More than two million years have passed between the evolution of the opposable thumb and the invention of the wheel.

Florist - Dead Plants 1/2 Price!

"We view it as a rather remarkable feat of genetic engineering."

"Fred Hoskins-you've turned pro,then?"

"Cheater"

It's not Global Warming silly: I bought a plastic plant...

Irregular Fruits and Veggies: "It's our inner beauty that counts..."

'Type the following as fast as you can!'

Eric Clapton.

Follow me on Twiddle my thumbs.

'Technical Support. While you're on hold for the next hour, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

Zombie Housekeeping

'Cool! Thanks to our opposable thumbs, we can send SMS messages...'

Ballet Beggar.

Monster Plant.

I worry that your camp concentrates too much on soccer. I'm ok, mom. Really. Specializing is bad for your joints and muscles. Chill, mom. I'm cross-training. Oh. I have very well-conditioned thumbs.

"Don't text so fast! At this rate, you'll need your thumbs retread."

A painter paints his thumb, not the nude model in front of him.

"I couldn't decide who gets the promotion, so company policy states that you thumb wrestle for it."

Phones PDA IM Text. Ernie's always been all thumbs --- He's a natural at text messaging!

'You'll have to wait a few minutes. My mom and dad are involved in a power struggle.'

"Disgusting-all they grow in their garden is HAIR!"

I can't help thinking we should be using opposable thumbs for more than thumb wrestling.

You are not allowed to join the army, little buddy. You don't want me getting hurt in war? I just don't think someone who's never won an arm-wrestling match in his life has any business taking on terrorists. For your information, you're looking at the World Lightweight Champion of Thumb Wrestling, fourteen years running. Not at all the same thing. And my mom said playing video games would never take me anywhere.