Throne Room Jogger Pillows

'If it weren't for all the assassination attempts, he wouldn't get ANY exercise.'

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"Surprise!"

Sleepwalker on treadmill

Robot Jogger

7 brownies worth of exercise.

'Hey, wait for me!'

"I run around this high school track every morning."

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

"If I adopt you, you're going to have to wake me up and walk me twice a day."

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

'Ok guys, here comes the first of the day...let the fun begin!'

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

Health

'Are we having fun yet?'

Runner's High, Runner's Low

"The militant hard-liners are making demands, the fanatical zealots are issuing threats, and the moderate centrists are offering suggestions."

"Let's take it easy for the first two miles."

"It's right about here that my socks fall down."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

Seated Elephant

'Here comes the 7:15...'

'Get rid of those shoes, or I will never jog with you again.'

'When he said he was going to promote staff health and fitness and encourage a little weight loss I thought he'd be giving us gym passes.'

I bought a pair of running shoes, and haven't seen them since.

Sir, do you claim your new vitamin water has negative calories? Weight loss guaranteed. Want some? Just an explanation of how it works. You drink it, you lose weight. Simple. Also, you have to drink it while jogging or exercising vigorously for at least 30 minutes. Does it work for regulators from the Federal Trade Commission? Run away.

"He's like a Bill Gates without a Microsoft."

"Whoever he is, he has season tickets."

'I always need motivation to exercise. Like being chased by the cops.'

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

'You're being exploited. Do you know that?'

The Gentle Art of Not Running.

'I used to run. Now I power walk.'