Throne Room Jogger Gifts

'If it weren't for all the assassination attempts, he wouldn't get ANY exercise.'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

"Surprise!"

Sleepwalker on treadmill

'Hey, wait for me!'

"I run around this high school track every morning."

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

"If I adopt you, you're going to have to wake me up and walk me twice a day."

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

Health

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

'Ok guys, here comes the first of the day...let the fun begin!'

'Are we having fun yet?'

Runner's High, Runner's Low

"Let's take it easy for the first two miles."

"It's right about here that my socks fall down."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

Seated Elephant

'Here comes the 7:15...'

'Get rid of those shoes, or I will never jog with you again.'

'When he said he was going to promote staff health and fitness and encourage a little weight loss I thought he'd be giving us gym passes.'

"He's like a Bill Gates without a Microsoft."

"Whoever he is, he has season tickets."

'I always need motivation to exercise. Like being chased by the cops.'

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

The Gentle Art of Not Running.

'You're being exploited. Do you know that?'

'That's my jogging suit.'

"It's not your fault, boy – how could you possibly have known he was my parole officer?"