Throne Room Humorist Gifts

"Surprise!"

"His first out-of-body experience."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

'Where's my horse?'

Magic Act

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"The militant hard-liners are making demands, the fanatical zealots are issuing threats, and the moderate centrists are offering suggestions."

Bed Fellow

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

'Gravity wins - again.'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

'My member requires some interest.'

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

Peter

"It's a 'get worse soon card' from your ex wife."

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

Chicane

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

'The holes in this hay net are getting smaller! What are you trying to say buddy?!'

Tonight: Ballet featuring Ernie. I think we've just witnessed the pollution of Swan Lake.

Bit on the Side

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

'Of course you can stay the night-what d'you fancy-on top or underneath?'

The Theatre of Mime.