Thought Scribbler T-Shirts

"But I have a hard time calling this real writing."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

Bird Watching with Binoculars

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Hans Holbein

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Will Self deprecation

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Musical Prodigy

How to create a brilliant cartoon

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

A pen spewing letters

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.

"Please stop signing your monitor's screen. There is a proper way to sign a document someone emails you."

"We have pills for some of that."

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

"Careful - it's full of lies."

Chicken soup for the bloggers soul.

Scribbling Rivalry.

'My blog has its own blog.'

The Poet

James Kelman

Monk with a crucifix pen.

'Fifty-seven authors, and neither one of us was included.'