Thought-provoking Enthusiasts Gifts

"If he's so smart, why does he have to sell his sperm?"

"Caption contest"

'The penguin is upset...'

X-RAY

"I don't have any opinions, and my wife things whatever Oprah thinks,."

'I inherited therefore I am'

“Okay, Cindy, don’t think of it as learning ... think of it as a software upgrade!”

That Pesky 'Why' Chromosome.

You spend way too much time and energy stewing over things, Al

Wilhelm Dilthey

Roger Clemens: Innocent until proven guilty.

See Manhattan . . . By Car!

'Jack, you need to start thinking outside the box.'

Oh, all right. It's a win-win-WIN situation.

"I wish I had his I.Q.!"

New driving hazards perception test....'I've crashed the computer.'

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, Al. I might have found that quote useful if not for my deadly fear of hobgoblins.

Gloria called

'Actually I never had any desire to go into that field until they built this fence.'

"Does it still qualify as a quorum if half the participants slept through the meeting?"

Born into the 21st century.

"They were my friends until I raised a controversial issue on social media."

"It's agreed then. By way of compromise we'll kick this into the short grass."

The New York Review of Weather.

"No, I'm afraid that doesn't count."

"Nothing beats New York for sheer energy."

IRS: 'Life isn't fair.' - John F. Kennedy

"Surely I'm allowed an opinion!"

'We have good news and bad news. The good news is we've developed a credible spin for the bad news...'

'Well, if my son does have a belligerent attitude, then he must have picked it up here at school.'

"Not many swords in tonight..."

'If you're teaching him how to drive, what are you doing back there?'

'Was that a red light? You should know that it is highly unethical to take liberties just because the instructor is drunk...'

Emile Durkheim