Thief Pillows

Cattle Rustlers - Closed for Stocktaking.

Spot the difference.

"Only thing he can't crack is why his wife would just up and leave."

'Give me all your money or I'll blow smoke in your face.'

'In this job you can go forward, backward or sideways.'

'What shall I do with this mega fingerprint?'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

A declaration - man tells a girl that she has stolen his heart.

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

WANTED The Strad Cad

'Computer crime' 'To see your belongings visit our website www,burgular.com'

Man debating the price in a resteurant

It had been a good life, filled with passion and joy, tender bonds, and finally one irretrievable error.

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

Crime section.

"Mr. Boyd, are you charged with stealing from Bob's bakery. How do you plead?"

Fencing Venn Graph

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'Why do you knock them back so quick.' 'I had one stolen.'

Thrift: Live in the sea, make friends with a whale, and shower for free.

Style

"Sorry we're late, Your Honor. My watch seems to be missing."

'Hold this til Tues and I'll pay you back, squid pro quo.'

'Notice how the eyes follow you out of the room.'

'Inexpensive organic food! ... Inexpensive organic food!'

All You Can Eat: Senior Special

"O.K., the question is, how can we improve our relationship without spending more money."

'Notice how the eyes appear to follow you around the room?'

"Well, I'm not sure what it is, but it was 50% off in the sale so I thought I'd get one before they sold out!"

Look, honey! I've been shopping off-line!

Self serve haircut