Therapy Seeker On A Budget Pillows

'My goal is to feel better about myself with a less expensive therapy.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Couples' therapy

Pet a Puppy

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'We have three minutes left.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'