Therapeutic Conversations Gifts

'Mr. Scrooge, I think we should talk a bit more about this dream you had...'

"I'm on Twitter and I get the feeling I'm not being followed."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

Very Difficult Conversations

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"How about a hand."

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Dialogue

'The only part of my body that defies gravity is my age.'

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"So has this obsession about your weight ever led to thoughts of suicide?"

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

'Therapy in L.A.'

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

"Adolescence can be a very trying time, Mr. Alcorn."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'I told you he had a temper.'

A lesson in wit

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"Do you feel you were loved as a tadpole?"

'What's the difference between solitude and loneliness, doctor?'

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"