Theory Explorers Gifts

You've discovered how elderly dudes can keep picking up chicks? I've amended Giacomo's Theorem, yes. The pickup number is now direction proportional to age in instances where charm is also directly proportional to age. Journals from Milan to Vegas are publishing my findings. Of course, there's one flaw in my theory. Hold that thought, I feel some gas coming on. It won't apply to most dudes.

Pushing the Evolution Envelope.

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

A Freudian slip...

Einstein's Theory of Relativity For Dummies

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

Complexity Made Simple.

Physicists disputing whether the clock moves backwards or forwards according to season change.

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"Lucky Guess."

Theory A Day Calendar.

You have reached the end of your brain...

Chaos Theory Lecture - Upstairs and ask again.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'It's okay, they're with me.'

'Since you conduct only thought experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought results.'

'OK Sheldon - which part of the Unified Field Theory do you not understand?'

"What - you got As in Maths, Nature, Science and English? Son, haven't you watched the news or looked online - if you want to succeed nowadays you have to be dumb as dirt!"

'Kleinzweck has a theory that the strong nuclear force is actually tiny rolls of duct tape.'

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

"I told you it was a universal truth."

Jean Philippe Rameau

'What are you talking about? ? how can you have half a quantum theory?'

'I don't know, doc. I'm okay. It's just that I don't feel as happy as a clam.'

'First particle theory, then wave theory, then plasma theory, and now lime gelatin theory.'

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'I wonder if you would like to subscribe to a theory.'

Jules Henri Poincare

Ever wonder if Einstein was only trying to come up with a catchy phrase, just for attention?

"Why are we here?"

"They grow up so fast. From Mother Goose to Google."

'The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance, and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever.'