Theology Explorer Gifts

Him the Almighty PowerHurled Headlong Flaming from the Ethereal Sky (Paradise Lost).

'I find that they evolve better under pressure.'

Sorry to Hear You're Leaving.

"It's important to remember my son; without evil, we would all be out of a job."

'Hmm … let me see … haven't seen this before … I'll need to ask the boss about this one.'

"I lose a rib, a snake gives you an apple then a loud voice tells us to clear off...don't talk to me about natural justice!"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

A surprise in heaven

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

The World's Biggest Book Club

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Priest

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

Einstein's Theory of Relativity For Dummies

Roger feels that there are only two inante instincts in men and women. One is satisfaction of biological needs...the other is self-actualization.

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

R.C.I.A.

'To be honest, it's a bit hard to swallow.'

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"Great - already running late and then this happens."