Theological Jester Pillows

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

"… open the doors, and see all the people."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

Books / Coffee table books

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

Monks play conkers with crucifix

Noah's Nark.

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

To sleep, perchance to wake up as a different person.

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

Poet's Corner

"Would you be upset if we marked it as humor?"

'My teacher says if I made bad grades, I'm spending too much time in front of the TV. I say if I made good grades, I'm spending too much time at school.'

Watch the author miss his deadline 4 to 7

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

An angel spinning the Vitruvian Man

"But Wendy could serve the Lord. She'll keep the cats out."

'I'm sorry but you obviously don't believe in God because you didn't forward the religious emails to 10 or more people in your address book.'

Mr. Science Times

'Ah, Gibbon. Are you learning anything?'