Themed Hotels Pillows

"Relax. You're the one who wanted to stay at a theme resort"

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

'Now here's a place I like!'

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

Giant slug attacks a city

St. Patricks Day Shamrock Outfit

Birds talking about package holiday makers - "Amazing how they find there way back every year."

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

The Suite Hereafter

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

"Enjoy your stay at the Bat Hotel. Breakfast is at 7 a.m. The guano bucket is down the hall and to the left."

"It makes you look old."

'Bed & Bagel'

Biliard Enthusiast

"We can be old-timey office workers for Halloween."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

'I'm pretty sure it's just plain old Tuesday. Bath towel Tuesday is next week.'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

Seal blubber stew

'Oh, the amenity!'

CSI Fridays

'look at this hotel. They leave a ball of yarn on your pillow!'

" ....you didn't say wanted one that worked."

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

Chernobyl Chow

'What gave him this idea?'

Excess Baggage: For many of us 'Roughing it' means staying at a hotel without room service.

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.